I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
