you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
