I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
