If you die in college, do you die in real life?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
