I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
