Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
