Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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