During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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