i permit you to call me
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
