I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
