it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
