Girls should come with a carfax report
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
