Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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