Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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