I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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