dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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