I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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