I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
