Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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