She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
