I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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