There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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