He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize