just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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