turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
