Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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