So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
