Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
