Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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