goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I can't turn off my feet"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
