Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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