i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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