I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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