I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Mom said you looked used
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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