It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Drunk is a universal language darling
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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