No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
