Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
