Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
