Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
then he tried to convert me to islam
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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