check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
