Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
