They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
