Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
