I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
