Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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