So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
