I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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