i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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