This dress was meant to end up on your floor
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
this just has baby written all over it
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
