i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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