I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
