we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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