HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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