I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
